Monthly Archives: September 2020

The current uncertainty, unpredictability, and chaos we are experiencing on the planet are clear indicators that we are undergoing an evolutionary shift. Many of us find it hard to cope with that. It is a bewildering experience, and it is just natural in times like these that we would look for answers and guidance from sources we can trust. We need well-informed opinions about complex issues so that we can take appropriate action. Unfortunately, in the past few months we have become aware of just how confusing such an exercise is. As much as we need well-informed opinions, it appears that those who used to be trustworthy experts and institutions — from journalists to academics to politicians — have shown themselves to be essentially unreliable in an acute emergency like this. This is very alarming because it leaves us with the nagging question, who then can we trust to guide us through the transition?

This may be the perfect opportunity for us to find ourselves a trustworthy compass. In his influential book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey suggests we use certain principles to direct our lives. He calls these principles lighthouses. They are rules or laws that are permanent, unchanging, and universal in nature. For Covey, principles are self-evident and — as part of most traditions and philosophies over the ages — they’ve been woven into the fabric of societies throughout human history. Fairness, integrity, respect, and honesty would be examples of such principles. They are lighthouses because, without them guiding our behaviour, the world would be chaotic. A principle compass is particularly useful whenever we are in doubt or whenever we need to take a stand or evaluate any particular view, opportunity, behaviour, or situation.

Principles are not to be confused with values. Values are beliefs and opinions that people hold regarding specific issues or ideas; they are ultimately internal, subjective, and malleable. They may change as new information becomes available or as demands or needs change. Principles, in contrast, do not change, but we can and probably should build our personal value system based on them.

As we are going through this volatile evolutionary shift on the planet, it will serve us well to align ourselves with some core principles again, and to allow these to guide us. Imagine what the world would look like if our natural inclination was to ensure that, whenever we interact with each other, the principles of love, fairness, integrity, respect, honesty, and truth direct our behaviour.

I believe that a life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth. I do not agree with the popular success literature that says that self-esteem is primarily a matter of mind set, of attitude – that you can psych yourself into peace of mind. Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.

Stephen Covey

For most of human history, access to information has been limited. People could not read, and education was a luxury. During the past century or so, this has changed dramatically. Today more people are educated, and we have almost limitless access to information thanks to the internet. However, the problem is that we cannot handle so much information. We are bombarded with a wealth of information, but we have the same amount of processing power as we have always had. Add to that the fact that the number of minutes and hours in a day have also stayed exactly the same.

Too much information, too little time, and a mental processor that cannot keep up leads to what Herbert A. Simon describes as a “bottleneck” in human thought. There are simply too many things competing for our attention. Research shows that the average human attention span is now shorter than that of a goldfish. A recent study found that the average human attention span has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000 (which happens to be around the time that smartphones hit the scene) to eight seconds today. In comparison, scientists believe that the goldfish has an attention span of nine seconds. We are constantly being bombarded by texts, tweets, push notifications, ads, Facebook posts, emails, and more, and our brains are becoming hooked onto all these stimuli. We crave more and more new information, and it can be difficult to pay attention to any one thing for very long. Forget about the argument in favour of multitasking. Enough research has been done to indicate that people cannot in fact attend fully to multiple things simultaneously. Someone may have their phone out while they are watching television, but if they divert their attention to, say, a social media stream, they will miss some of what happened in the TV show.

We need to wake up to the fact that our attention has now become a commodity in this information age. The so-called attention economy has been one of the biggest tech stories of our time. The internet has an insatiable appetite for eyeballs and brains. There is fierce competition for one of the most valuable assets we have – our attention- and we should start treating it as such.

We need to pay attention to what we are paying attention to. Take note of the word ‘pay’ here. We need to realise that there is some sort of exchange happening. It is much like when we pay too much for an item only to realize it was not worth the money. Perhaps we should start to become more discerning about where we put our attention. Attention is like a magnifying glass. The more attention we devote to something, the larger it becomes. The choice is ours. What are we prepared to pay attention to these days, and how much are we prepared to spend? The final sobering question should always be, is it worth it? What is the payoff for me? Is it leaving me in a better emotional state.? Am I feeling happier, more empowered, safer, and more optimistic? Am I wiser? Does it make my soul sing? If the answer is no, then all the more reason to pay attention to what we are paying attention to.

“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.” -Jim Rohn

It seems that currently most people are dealing with uncertainty; if not properly addressed, this can have a detrimental effect on our mental and emotional well-being. It feels like nothing is certain anymore. No one can tell what tomorrow will bring, and that is hard for us to deal with. We do not cope well in situations where the future feels unpredictable. It makes us feel tense, unsafe and anxious, and our brain plays no small part in all of this.

Our brain craves certainty and avoids uncertainty as though it is pain. When we can’t predict the outcome of a situation, an alert goes to the brain to pay more attention. A threat response occurs, and this craving for certainty follows the same circuits that are used when we have a primary need, like the one for food. In that sense, we have a huge hunger for certainty and in the absence of that, a response is triggered in our limbic system. Our brain detects that something is wrong, and our ability to focus on other issues is then diminished. Our brain doesn’t like uncertainty, and views it as something to be avoided, like we avoid pain, and it will do almost anything to address that. The main focus then becomes to ease the situation in whatever way possible, as long as the uncertainty goes away. It is much like when we are very hungry and then eat anything we can lay our hands on to still the hunger. Once the craving is met, there is a sense of relief, and we can relax. It comes as no surprise then that politicians and entire industries like insurance brokers, financial forecasters, and future analysts capitalize on this human craving for certainty.

Change and uncertainty go hand in hand. The massive amount of changes we have been faced with during the past few months has triggered stress responses in our brain, and we are all dealing with it in our own unique way. Some of us deal with uncertainty by trying to predict the future. We do so by gathering as much information we can. Being informed is always useful, but apart from the fact that nobody can tell with certainty what tomorrow will bring, the problem is that we can easily drown in the flood of contradictory information, thus leaving us feeling even more overwhelmed and uncertain. As avid seekers of certainty, we should also keep in mind that there are voices out there that are ready to unashamedly exploit the situation by deliberately creating more uncertainty to prepare the ground for some solution that only they can offer, which will supposedly bring us certainty. That is why we need to be discerning and very careful whom we choose to lend our ears and eyes to in a time like this.

A more useful way to deal with uncertainty is to learn how to handle change better. If we can become more flexible and adaptable, we will get through this time more easily. Like a palm tree facing the strong wind of a hurricane, we too need to bend and yield to the storm. We should stand firm by believing in ourselves and developing an inner knowing that soon the storm will pass and the sun will shine again. Life has an interesting way to take us exactly where we are meant to be. Let our craving for certainty not drive us mad. Befriend uncertainty. Ride the storm. It wants to take you to exciting new destinations. You can do it.

“Don’t pray for better days, pray for a better attitude to withstand uncertain days.”

― Mac Duke The Strategist

Back in the 1990s, there was huge optimism about the internet. It was an exciting idea that we could bring all information and all points of view together; more than that, this would help us to become more tolerant, accepting, and appreciative of one another. What a pipe dream that now seems to be. We have now become more polarized than ever before, because nowadays everyone has an opinion, which they share freely on the different social media platforms. There is little tolerance for opposing opinions. Our reactions to those opinions have become more emotional and outraged, and we are prepared to go very low to defend them.

Having an opinion is great, but we should not confuse opinions with knowledge. As Plato reminds us, an opinion is living between knowledge and ignorance. We are currently clearly confusing opinions with knowledge. This is clear from the vast amount of ‘experts’ on social media. We are inundated with the opinions of people who have no background or expertise in a certain field, but who nonetheless offer us their opinions and strongly defend them. In times like these, we should be reminded of the proverb: It is better to be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt. Someone once said that we are entitled to our opinion, but we are not entitled to be ignorant. Perhaps we should alter this statement a bit by saying that we are entitled to be ignorant but not to display it so publically.

One thing we tend to forget about our opinion is that it is just that – our personal opinion – and therefore should be offered more humbly. The opinions we hold are based on our specific values and beliefs, which may not be shared by everyone. We should also be prepared to learn from each other and to change our opinion, if necessary. Life is a complex system and we are always evolving and growing and, as we gain more insight and knowledge, we should be prepared to change our opinions rather than casting them in stone and offering them as the ultimate truth. As William Blake cautioned: The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water which breeds reptiles of the mind.

Be that as it may, we will always have our own opinions about things, and it is fine to disagree, as long as it is done respectfully. One of the disadvantages of the internet and social media is that we are removed from those who disagree with us. There is no face-to face-communication. People are just characters on a screen. We are unable to see their facial expressions and body language. The nuances of their beliefs and their expressions are lost and because they are merely characters on a screen that we can delete or unfollow, we hold no punches when they disagree with us. We turn them into caricatures or stereotypes, and quietly enjoy feeling a certain moral superiority over them. We justify this by feeling that we are on a meaningful moral crusade of speaking the truth and pointing out what is right and wrong. It will serve us well to keep in mind that truth is relative, and much like beauty, it often lies in the eye of the beholder. Many relationships are ruined by someone with a strong opinion who is not prepared to see things differently.

There is a lovely parable from the Buddhist tradition about blind men and an elephant that illustrates the limits of perception and why we should show some tolerance.

A group of blind men encountered an elephant for the first time. Each of them touched different parts of the elephant. Not knowing what an elephant is like, each of them came to a different conclusion, based on their own experience. One blind man touched the elephant’s side and claimed that the elephant was like a wall. Another blind man touched its leg and exclaimed that the elephant was like a tree. The other blind man touched the tusk and believed it to be a spear. One touched the trunk. calling it a snake. Yet another one touched the elephant’s ear and called it a fan. The last one touched the tail and proclaimed it to be a rope.

Next time when we are tempted to voice our opinion so strongly, let us be less judgemental and remind ourselves that we don’t see the whole elephant. Let us show more tolerance and kindness as we ‘feel’ our way through life.

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson